What Is It That I Do
That Keeps Me Stuck In The Rut
That I Say I Want Out Of
Check List “A”
That Keeps Me Stuck In The Rut
That I Say I Want Out Of
Check List “A”
The Control Patterns
• I must be needed in order to have a relationship.
• I value other’s approval of my thinking, my feelings and my behaviours over my own.
• I will agree with others just so they will like me, or to avoid conflict.
• I focus my attention on protecting and saving others.
• I truly believe that most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
• I tend to keep score of “all the good deeds and favours I do” and I get very upset when others don’t notice or repay me.
• I am very skilled at second guessing how other people are feeling or thinking.
• I can anticipate what others need and provide it before they ask.
• I become resentful when others won’t let me help (my way).
• I stay calm and efficient in the midst of someone else’s crisis.
• I only feel good about me when I am helping someone else.
• I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
• I put aside my own interests and concerns in order to do what others want.
• I can only ask for help if I am ill, and then reluctantly.
• I cannot tolerate seeing someone else’s pain.
• I lavish gifts and favours on those I care about or who I want to win favour with.
• I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
• I attempt to convince others of how they should “truly” think and how they “should” really feel.
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being others.
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